I thought about just making a Facebook post, but I have too much to say.
My quest for the fountain of youth for Shylo…. has failed. I would never let anyone talk to me about saying goodbye to her some day because that was never going to happen. I couldn’t talk about it, I couldn’t think about it. It wasn’t going to happen. I was going to find the fountain of youth, and just let her drink from it… and then will her to some lucky person when I was old.
On Wednesday evening we said a long and painful goodbye to my best companion. I have felt some pretty major heartbreak in my life, but nothing compares to this. Shylo was a part of me. People who aren’t dog people don’t really get it… but she quickly wiggled her way into my heart and I wanted to keep her there and here on this earth forever. She was my first baby…. and as much as I didn’t want to ever acknowledge it, I knew deep down that she probably didn’t have a lot of years left…. but I thought we had a few.
Just a few weeks ago I was looking at her and thinking, “Man, I am so lucky. Shylo is definitely going to be one of those dogs that lives to be like 15.” She was so healthy. She was 11 and a half years old and kicking ass at life. She was as strong as ever, as protective as ever, and as beautiful as ever even with the ever increasing white hair on her beautiful face.
One night she yelped out in pain out of nowhere. Randy and I were alarmed and checked her out. She was shaking, as she does when she panics or hurts, but calmed down and then just went to sleep. The next day she yelped out a couple more times. So I took her to the vet… if you know Shylo, you know that is always an absolute LAST resort for me with her. I took her only when I felt absolutely necessary. She was riddled with anxiety and she would just tremble in fear, panic, try to escape the room we were in… and in these covid times, I couldn’t go inside with her, so I had to let them drag her away from me. They thought she tore her ACL on her back left knee and told me the surgery would be expensive, and the recovery would be long. But I just said ok – where do we go next? So they sent me to a specialist.
To make a very long and painful story short… it wasn’t her ACL. Shylo had a neurological disease that was paralyzing her essentially one leg at a time. We tried a lot of medication to stabilize her but she continued to plummet every day. Her body failed her. She went from completely normal, to losing all use of her back legs in a matter of two weeks. I went from hanging onto hope to saying goodbye in less than 24 hours.
I called Dr. LePere at Pacific at Home to come to our home and evaluate Shylo. She spent a lot of time getting Shylo’s charts from her vets, and fully assessing her condition. She explained every possible outcome to us, and each was very grim. We (Randy & I) decided together with Dr. LePere, my Mom, my Sister, that it was time to let her rest.
I knew I could not take her back to a place that terrified her for her final moments, so we had Dr. LePere assist her in letting go in the comfort of her own bed, and my arms in our home. It was the most painful goodbye for my heart… but I couldn’t have asked for a more loving, beautiful, gentle way for Shylo. She felt safe. She was with me.
I had the unique experience and absolute joy of witnessing Shylo come into this world and take her first breath; and I held her, kissed her, thanked her and cried over her as I listened to her take her last.
Shylo was my best friend. I know that’s cliche… but it’s true. As my Mom put it, she was my independence. When I moved out of my Mom’s house and was out on my own for the first time, I wasn’t alone. Shylo came with me. Everywhere I have lived, she was the reason I chose the homes I chose. I wouldn’t live anywhere that she couldn’t come. She protected me. She protected my home, my roomates, my family….and for the last 19 months, my sweet daughter. One time my Mom asked me when I was living with roommates, if I ever felt like I wanted a gun for protection. I replied, “I have one. Her name is Shylo.” She literally prevented a break in at my house once… maybe multiple times.
Shylo licked my tears when I cried over heartbreak, she slept at my feet when I was sick; she scared the shit out of everyone who came to my door; she made people earn her love. She didn’t just love everyone. She chose Randy for me. If Shylo wasn’t cool with you, then you were not cool with me… she knew. She always knew. She sat at my feet when I read stories to Brynlee; she let Brynlee climb all over her, kiss her, and pinch her ears (smh). She was so gentle. She was happy as long as she was in the same room as me at any given moment. That’s all she wanted. She was by my side during the biggest moments of my life, good bad and ugly. She was my constant. I named by business, Shy Heart Studios, after her. There will never be another one like her. I will miss this girl forever and ever. I am glad she is no longer suffering, but it all just happened too fast. I was not ready. My soul hurts.
Rest in Peace my sweet Bug.
If you have gotten this far, thank you. Thank you for reading through my Shylo tribute/memorial. This was therapeutic for me… and though I knew some would read through it, this was more for me and my healing than anything else.
To my Mom, my Sister Melissa, my brother Dustin and my Husband… thank you for your support through this. Thank you for being there with me on that excruciating day. Thank you for loving Shylo like you did for all of these years and understanding what she meant to me… and for what she meant to you. Thank you for mourning with me.
To my brother Adam – thank you for giving me the gift of Shylo. You are the reason I got to have this beautiful soul in my life and I will never be able to repay you for that gift.
To my friends who already know and have reached out – THANK YOU for your kind and thoughtful words. They have meant more than you know. I apologize if I can’t answer your calls right now. I just need some time.
With a deeply broken heart,
In 2018 when I first learned about the policy enacted that separated children from their parents at the US-Mexico border, I was appalled. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The photos were so painful that I refused to look. We didn’t get to vote on this policy as US citizens, this was something our administration just decided to do in an effort to deter people from trying to cross the border illegally.
What isn’t talked about enough is that there were thousands of people already making the very deadly journey to the US border that did not hear of this new policy and did not know what awaited them at the border where they would attempt to seek asylum. These were people already left stuck between a rock and a hard place…. With two options:
- Stay where they were. In a country controlled by a drug cartel where their lives and the lives of their children were in danger every day.
- Make the exceptionally dangerous, brutal, and possibly deadly journey to the US border where they might get asylum, or might cross the border without getting caught.
Let’s pretend that they did know they could be separated from their children. Which option would you take? This was a lose-lose situation.
Last week when I learned about the 545 families who had been separated and were unable to be reunited because we LOST them… we put the parents on a plane, we shipped them back, and we can no longer locate them… I became enraged. I don’t care how you slice this – it is bad. It is inhumane. It is cruel. It is abhorrent. It is criminal. They put 1,000 people on a plane without their children and sent them back to where they come from, with out their babies… Sit with that for a moment.
As a mother… there is nothing on this earth that could bring me more pain than the loss of my precious child. As a mother, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my daughter from evil, from violence, from abuse, from anything that could harm her. I would climb every mountain with her on my back, barefoot in the sun, or in the cold of winter… if it meant protecting my child. To have her ripped from my arms from a country that I thought would finally help me keep her safe… would be the ultimate pour of salt on my wounds that I earned with every step that I carried her.
That night as I lay in bed thinking about this…. I thought, “I need to go and place my hands on her.” My daughter has a sticky door. When you open it… it makes an obnoxious sound and I feared waking her…. And then I thought, “none of these parents who have been separated from their children would think about the fear of waking their sleeping child…. They would embrace that.” So I opened her sticky door… she remained asleep despite the loud noise it made… I touched her face. I felt her silky baby cheeks… I touched her sweet breathing belly…. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I touched her sweet tiny hands and I prayed for the families who don’t get to sneak into their children’s rooms at night and revel in their innocence and thank God for their safety. I prayed for the children sleeping on cots, or on the floor or wherever they are sleeping at the facility at the southern border. I thought about how they didn’t get to listen to bedtime stories from their parents, they didn’t get a snuggle before they laid down at night, they didn’t get to sleep in the comfort of a quiet room, and a bed all their own. And tomorrow, they wont get to wake up to a silly alarm clock letting them know it’s time to rise, or wake on their own, calling for their Mommies or Daddies because even if they do, they wont be able to come running to them. I sat back against the rocking chair in her room and I wept. I listened to her wiggle around and readjust herself, and I prayed for the children who have no idea what tomorrow will bring for them. I prayed for the parents who tried to save them. I prayed that they stay safe. I prayed that they keep up the fight. I prayed for their reunion.
There is nothing that will ever make this injustice ok. Someone without a heart created this policy. It doesn’t matter how you try to look at it or justify it in your minds, there is no justification for stealing children from their parents who were desperately trying to give them safety, comfort… a better life. “We are trying to locate the families” is not enough. We shouldn’t have lost them in the first place.
Hold your babies tighter today… kiss them extra… tell them you love them… whether they’re 6 days old or 16 years old… I know I have been and will continue to. And please – remember to VOTE.
I feel very strongly that I need to do something in some way to help these kids. So I will be offering two additional shoots this season and all proceeds from these sessions will be donated to https://secure.actblue.com/donate/kidsattheborder – Stay tuned for those details.
For more information on this situation:
With love and compassion,
A couple of weeks ago I was stumped on what to blog about, so I put a poll out on Instagram to see if anyone would share some things they’d like to have me touch on in my Blog. I got some really great suggestions! I still ran out of time to blog that day… and the next… and the next… but here we are. I finally have found some time!
The first suggestion I’m using is: How does the change in weather inspire your sessions?
I have to say that the change in weather inspires me in life in general. I get very sick of the summer heat every year and with a toddler, plus the pandemic, this year that has been ten fold. It has been a real challenge to beat the heat anywhere but inside our house. So having the weather FINALLY start to drop into the 80’s is an absolute God send. We can literally just go play outside… as much as I am ready for bundled up clothing and hot latte’s, I’m thankful just to feel like I can take her outside in the afternoon and let her play. I start coming up with fun ideas of ways to entertain her outside and fun things we can do together.
From a photography stand point, this year in particular I’ve been exceptionally inspired. With the change in weather comes family portrait season. As someone who is primarily a wedding photographer, I get VERY excited for the change of pace that the fall traditionally brings to my business. This year, as you know, I haven’t captured a traditional wedding in a while, so just being out working with people in this beautiful weather gets me excited about what I do all over again. It has been hard to stay inspired when we have no idea when we’ll get back to the traditional days of weddings. However, this season lifts that dark cloud a little bit for me. As a Mom myself, I love family sessions more than I ever have before. For the next couple of months I get to see smiling faces (even if they don’t get to see mine behind my mask), and play and chat and enjoy time with these families on a regular basis and feel like I have a job again! Just this boost in energy for me, this time of year, inspires me to expand my marketing, come up with new fun ideas, and just gets my creative juices flowing. I can’t tell you how wonderful that feeling is after so many months of disappointment as our country continues to combat covid-19 unsuccessfully. While many businesses have been lucky enough to be able to re-open SAFELY, the wedding industry is still at a major disadvantage and will be one of the very last, I believe, to fully recover. So in the meantime I am inspired by cooler weather and cute-ass kids, sweet little baby bumps, and dogs in costume!!
Take a look at my first round of 2020 Mini Sessions:
My mini session dates are full for this year, but if you’re interested in booking a full family session – please feel free to reach out! You can message me at http://www.briannacaster.com or email me at email@example.com
Stay safe my friends!
This is a super insulting question to ask anyone in the creative field. So just …. don’t. Instead – read this blog and share it with those who would like a better understanding of what goes into pricing with things like wedding photography or family photography.
This blog post topic is brought to you by way of inspiration from my cousin 🙂 I was not at all offended when he asked me about photography pricing and why it’s so high, because he’s family and I know his question came out of a real desire to understand. But this immediately made me thing that I should talk about it. So here we are!
What goes into pricing for photography? No. Despite what you might think, it is not just an arbitrary number we come up with. It’s not ego… well maybe a little bit is ego, but well deserved ego 😀
Here is how professional photographers build their pricing and decide what they NEED to charge in order for a session to be worth their time, effort and talent:
Factor 1: The basics.
Education. Not everyone can check this box with an actual degree, but most photographers can check this box with time and effort they have put in, and money they have spent educating themselves. Conventions, online courses, in person classes, etc. You might have a natural eye for beauty, but that doesn’t mean s-h-i-t if you don’t know how to apply it, or how to use your gear. I personally have a Bachelor of Fine Art in Photography – so for me, the education part is all encompassing. I have a degree in my field, and I continue to spend money and time furthering my education and constantly am learning new techniques, equipment, and also – what they don’t teach you in art school… HOW TO RUN A BUSINESS.
Factor 2: Overhead.
What does it cost to run a photography business? This might shock you. I don’t often share these numbers but I think it’s important. Every photographer’s overhead varies. But there are things that across the board, every professional photographer HAS to spend money on. These things include, but are not limited to: cost of equipment, cleaning/maintenance of equipment, insurance of equipment, liability insurance, contract/booking programs, editing & culling subscriptions, computer equipment, editors, back up systems, studio space, ADVERTISING, website building/design/upkeep,…. the list goes on and on. If you are a full time photographer – guess what… none of these bills stopped during Covid. So keep that in mind. With little to nothing coming in, all of these bills still had to get paid. Overhead for a full time photography business can be upwards of $50,000.00 per year…
Factor 3: Experience / Talent…. TIME.
YES – these are extremely valuable. When you hire a professional, they know exactly what they are doing. They know what lighting, timing, posing, etc. to use at the drop of a hat. I am of the belief that our time is the most valuable thing we have to give to another person… because it’s the one thing we can’t get back. Let that sink in.
Factor 4: Value.
This is probably the most important thing that people miss when trying to understand what they are getting when they hire a professional photographer. The best way I can express it is with this scenario: Your house is on fire. All people and pets are safe. What is the first thing you grab to take with you after your loved ones are safe? MOST people would say, photographs, albums, or hard drives that hold their photos. Why is that? Because those images are your legacy. They’re your life story. They are your most prized possessions because they are all you have left after the moment is gone. One day the memories will fade, but the photos help reignite them. One day your kids will look at your wedding photos and probably have them in their own home… One day your kids will be graduating high school, college… in the blink of an eye, your babies will be grown up… and all you’ll have to remember the early days, are your photos. If THAT is not value to you…. then clearly you’re not a fan of photography 😉 To me, these times, these days, these memories – are all priceless. I should charge more 😉
These four things are the majority of what goes into how we determine what we will charge. The question you have to ask yourself when making a decision to hire a professional photographer is, what will these images be worth to me 10 years from now? 20 years? What value will my children and grandchildren find in these? Divide the cost up by how many years you think you’ll cherish those images for. If it’s a lifetime… or two lifetimes… then it should be worth every penny. How many other things do you spend money on that last that long?
Here’s a look at a repeat wedding share 🙂 This gorgeous wedding at SaddleRock Ranch in Malibu is still one of my favorites.
Happy 2nd Anniversary Josh & Jaz! Two years and two babies for this power couple.
For more information on booking wedding photography, OR getting your family portraits on the calendar – visit http://www.briannacaster.com and send us a message.
Are we starting to see it you guys!? Is it finally happening!?
Today Orange County was removed from the California county “watch list” for covid-19 cases. Our cases here are finally on a steady decline…. FINALLY!!! Please, don’t take this as your moment to rip your mask off and run around bare naked on your face… the storm isn’t over, but it’s starting to let up. We have to keep doing what we’re doing… wearing our masks, social distancing, washing our hands, sanitizing things… etc etc so that we can continue this trend. But I dare say… I am finally seeing some hope.
There are still so many unknowns, but one thing I do know for sure is that 2020 has been a complete wash for my wedding photography business. At the same time, it has been a really beautiful time to get closer to my family, to be there even more for my daughter, and to explore other avenues of my business. As the summer creeps toward a close ever so slowly (can it be Fall yet?), I am gearing up to start planning my yearly family mini sessions. You guys – there has NEVER been a more important time to document your family. Things are WEIRD – this is a historical time that we will all look back on one day and talk about… hopefully along with the stress and anxiety, there are beautiful memories that are being created. Let’s capture them together.
My focus for the rest of 2020 will be to do just that; to capture this time for you and your loved ones. I will be announcing my mini session dates and locations next month – I hope you and your loved ones will join me.
Below are some of the quarantine shoots I’ve done this year already. I look forward to photographing you and your cuties this Fall.
If you’d like to be one of the FIRST to get my mini session dates and make sure you get on the list and get a primo spot… send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know! The dates will go out to a select list of past clients before opening to the general public. My dates go FAST!! I can add you to this list by request only to guarantee you a spot.
See you in the fall my friends!
What’s a Wedding Photographer to do when they’ve hit nearly 5 months on Quarantine with no end in sight? Do we stay positive? Stay the course? Or Pivot? Both? I don’t know. I do know that my business is not the only one suffering during these times. I also know that Weddings are one of the most sure-fire ways of spreading COVID-19 so I get it. It sucks – but I get it.
What people don’t realize is that although we aren’t currently photographing weddings, our business still needs to run. We still have work to do. Engagement sessions to photograph, blogs to write, clients to talk to, and people to book for post covid times… we have to move forward as if we are going back to work next month even though we have no idea if we will or not. Someone asked me the other day why I still have a babysitter coming to help with my daughter if I’m not working. Just because I’m not shooting weddings, and not taking in steady money – doesn’t mean there isn’t work to do. Not only that but I’m trying to book non-wedding business to help keep the doors open so that we CAN get back to weddings eventually. Bills still have to get paid.
With the help of a wonderful friend and mentor I’m now offering studio style business portraits. I’ve been asked many times about this but have only ever offered natural light portraits. Quarantine is as good as an excuse as any to learn a new technique! I am not one to sit back and wait for things to get better… my wheels keep turning, I make plans, I pivot…. Instead of sitting back and thinking about how much it sucks, I figure out what I can do in the mean time. At the end of the day, it expands my horizons and allows me to continue to offer MORE to those who come to me.
Portraits are important for every field of business. Whether you’re an Artist, a Banker, a Lawyer, a Real Estate Agent, a Singer, an Actor, a Teacher…. you name it… people want to see your beautiful face! So… let me shoot your face 🙂 Whatever kind of portrait you need – most likely, I can do it for you.
Take a look at some of my favorite portraits over the last year:
Studio light, Natural light, you in your element… whatever that may be – I’d love to photograph it. For more information please visit my website at http://www.briannacaster.com – or message me directly!
I have been meaning to post for Pride Month literally all month long. I’ve been distracted with all of the other things going on in the world, and once I got this engagement session on my calendar, I knew it was going to make for the perfect Pride Month Post. So here I am! Better late than never – it’s still June!
Here’s a little history on Pride Month thanks to our friends at Wikipedia:
Pride Month occurs to commemorate the Stonewall Riots which took place at the end of June 1969.
What were the Stonewall Riots, you might ask? They were a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations by members of the LGBT community in response to a police raid that began in the early morning hours of June 28th 1969 at the Stonewall Inn which is in Manhattan, New York. Patrons of the Stonewall as well as other lesbian and gay bars in the neighborhood fought back when the Police became violent. These riots are widely considered to constitute one of the most important events leading to the gay liberation movement and the modern fight for LGBTQ rights in the United States.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? When people have had enough, people have had enough.
I believe our country has done a massive disservice in not recognizing Juneteenth as a national holiday. Full disclosure – I don’t recall ever hearing about Juneteenth until this year. I do recall learning about the Emancipation Proclamation and how long it took for the news to get to those still enslaved in Texas… but I don’t recall ever hearing that this was a date that is celebrated by black people across our nation until this year. This date should be celebrated by EVERYONE in this country, as should Pride month. These monumental moments in history should be a badge of pride, recognition and celebration for every US citizen because we should be celebrating any movement that brings us forward in the fight for equality among gender, race, sexuality, ethnicity, etc. We are a melting pot and we should all be celebrating equality in all of its forms, and all of its movements. These are not holidays for just black people, for just LGBTQ people… these should be holidays we all recognize.
Let’s not forget where we started or how we got where we are today. We have a LONG way to go, but we finally seem to be getting somewhere. HISTORY is vital. We cannot forget our history, if we don’t want to repeat it. Don’t forget our history.
In honor of Pride Month, and just because they’re so damn adorable… I have to share my engagement session with Abby & Isabelle. These two are high school sweethearts and come from families who have supported their relationship from the very beginning. Here’s to hoping their story, their families love and acceptance, the fact that they did not have to grow up hiding who they are…. becomes the norm in our country and around the world. Congratulations to this beautiful couple. I cannot wait to photograph your wedding!
Happy Belated Juneteenth to everyone in this country. Happy Belated Pride Month to everyone in this country. Let’s keep each other accountable, let’s be kind, let’s remind each other to honor these important dates.
Abby & Isabelle are both becoming teachers! In honor of these bright young women going out in the world to help shape our Youth I want to share some educational resources for children.
For information on how you can educate your children on discrimination and help bring this country a better future by teaching your kids about acceptance and love, check out these articles:
For information on booking wedding photography, engagement photography, family photography or anything photography related – check out my website and drop me a line at http://www.briannacaster.com
Peace, Love & Equality,
I haven’t blogged in quite a while.
First, COVID-19 had me feeling like I was losing this business I’ve worked so hard to build. Having to cut out my assistant and lose a lot of help I had because I couldn’t pay anyone caused a couple of minor break downs. I have been juggling trying to keep my head above water in business, keeping the bills paid without any money coming in (thank goodness I have been smart enough to save for business catastrophes), and being a full-time Mom to Brynlee because we also didn’t have our babysitter for several weeks. This meant I was doing anything and everything I could do during Brynlee’s naps. And if you know me well enough, you know the epic short napper that my daughter is. I have been TRULY blessed that my Mom works for me as does my long time friend and colleague Elaine. They both do sales for our team, and without question, have continued to work our leads and help us book business for post covid times and have not asked me for a dime because they understand the predicament my business has been in. People like them and loyalty like theirs, is beyond priceless. Without the two of them, this whole operation would have truly fallen apart. They kept my business going and I am forever grateful to them for their understanding of my needs without having to be asked and their willingness to see past the RIGHT NOW dollars, to help me without question or pay, and to understand that their help now means we all benefit later. A LOT of things have fallen by the wayside in this time, but so many things kept going because of them. They kept going because they believe in me and what we have built. Financially, I will eventually be able to repay them – but emotionally… holy cow.
In addition to covid, the world has just been all over the place and I haven’t been able to find the words. I have not posted anything for work in several weeks because it just hasn’t felt right. There is a huge movement going on, and talking about anything other than that movement has honestly felt like it would be a betrayal to the cause. At the same time, I realize that I have to get back to work… my Instagram account is more about growing and maintaining my business than it is about my personal life and I can’t let my business continue to fall apart. I say continue because for the last few months it’s felt like it was falling apart in the chaos of COVID-19. So I’ve been left with this question daily… How do I get back to posting for my business without taking away from the cause? How do I use my voice to help my community without abandoning my business? The truth is, I still don’t have an answer. It feels like the two can’t be merged because I’m trying to help educate friends and family on racism and inequality, but also trying to book some family sessions and weddings.
I even thought for a minute that I shouldn’t bring this up in a blog, but truth be told – I just can’t separate the two. It doesn’t feel right. And if people are bothered by my topics of conversation they don’t need to follow me anymore and they don’t need to book me as their Photographer. I am not here to maintain the “status quo” – I am here to help in the movement toward change, and those that may be bothered by this, are not the right clients for me. I want to see more equality in this country and in this world. I want to be a part of bringing people together, not apart of deepening the divide.
I hate how political this movement has become too. I don’t know why I am even remotely surprised about it… nothing big in this country can happen without “taking sides”. I wish that people would turn off the news, and listen to their fellow humans instead of one-sided news networks who are trying to convince them that the other side is evil and horrible and making things up. I wish we could all just come to the table and agree that we all need to be better. We need to demand better, and we need to stand for nothing less than fairness and equality among everyone. Our country is literally called the UNITED States of America. Does anyone feel like we are United right now?
So back to the question of how we can move forward in continuing to push for equality but also keep our businesses going and talking. If anyone has an answer, I’d love to hear it. For now, I just am not going to shy away from any of it. I’m going to keep sharing helpful resources, and start sharing my work again in all of its facets.
I’m going to kick it off with one of my favorite couples… Michelle & Christian. Michelle’s details were so elegant, so fierce, and so beautifully HER!!! They both have smiles that are incredibly infectious and families who’s love just oozed from every angle.
For more resources to help this movement and to understand what is happening in this country right now PLEASE do your research:
Don’t make assumptions. Fact check. DIG in. Write to your representatives, CALL them, be heard. Be the change.
Peace & Love always,